cayo costa 2

I was brought up attending catholic school and required to attend church every Sunday whether I wanted to or not. For the longest time in my life, I was filled with the usual fear, guilt, shame and a deep longing to know the truth. Somewhere in the 90’s, I picked up the book Conversations with God: An Uncommon Dialogue, Book 1 by Neale Donald Walsch. It was practically screaming “read me” when I saw it on the shelf. I couldn’t put it down and I read it in 2 days and I think I may even had read it 2 or 3 times. For the first time in my life, life made sense. I was able to revert back to the deep inner knowing I had as a child before I went to catholic school in first grade.
From there, I had a huge thirst for all of the new age knowledge I could possibly get. I read books by Doreen Virtue, Ester Hicks, Deepak Chopra, Louise Hay. I became interested in pendulum dowsing, energy work, had new age music cds, attended yoga, meditation sessions and new age gatherings. I went through soul retrieval and a past life regression(more on that in a later post). I’d like to say I have created a spiritual toolbox that I can reach into when things get rough.
Around 2010, after a too long of a bad relationship and one year of therapy, I was bound and determined to find my way out of the mess and “get it”. I picked up Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment book and purchased the cd. I listened intently, everyday for weeks. One day, my significant other tried to pick a fight with me as was “normal” for someone to do when they are an emotional abuser. I was unreactive.  I knew I was done and I didn’t want to “play” anymore. I could tell he did not understand my lack reaction and shortly after that episode I was strong enough to get him to move out. I was both elated and scared. I had a home to take care of by myself but I had learned to trust the universe and knew I would be ok.
After this occurrence and my newfound freedom, the new age thirst for knowledge I had known for so long came to an end. I still like to listen to Ester Hicks and have recently discovered the channelings of Bashar. I still believe in Bach flower remedies, gemstones, energy therapy etc. but they are not at the top of my “to do” list. I live more in the now than I ever did and I see how all of those books I was reading were to get me back to me. I’d like to say my spiritual journey began with Conversations with God and ended with The Power of Now. I stopped defining myself as a seeker and realized that all I ever needed was within all along. Though life is a not always a bed of roses, I am able to give myself permission to create peace within myself if I so choose on a daily basis.